Hysterical Heights Hospital Episode 8: "The Perilous Petting Zoo Predicament"
INT. HYSTERICAL HEIGHTS MEDICAL CENTER - DAY
[Theme music plays, accompanied by a montage of various hospital scenes featuring the hospital staff in silly situations, all ending with the same patient, MR. MORTIMER, dying in a new, absurd way each time.]
EPISODE 8: "The Perilous Petting Zoo Predicament"
[DR. FUMBLE enters MR. MORTIMER's hospital room, stepping on a squeaky toy as he enters. MR. MORTIMER lies in bed, covered in animal fur, feathers, and scratches.]
DR. FUMBLE (crashing into the room) Mortimer! What wild catastrophe has struck you this time?
MR. MORTIMER (itching all over) Doc, I took a job at a petting zoo, but I ended up being attacked by an angry mob of animals!
NURSE NUTTY enters the room, wearing a safari hat and carrying a tranquilizer gun.
NURSE NUTTY (concerned) Dr. Fumble, we need to treat Mortimer's wounds and calm the animals before he turns into a human scratching post!
DR. FUMBLE (nodding) You're right, Nurse Nutty! Let's get to work!
[NURSE NUTTY and DR. FUMBLE start treating MR. MORTIMER's scratches and applying soothing ointments. Meanwhile, NURSE NUTTY tries to corral the loose animals that have followed them into the room.]
MR. MORTIMER (sighing) Thanks, doc. I'm starting to feel better already.
[Just as MR. MORTIMER starts to recover, a rogue llama enters the room, spitting at everyone in sight. One of the llama's projectiles hits MR. MORTIMER directly in the face, causing him to have a severe allergic reaction.]
NURSE NUTTY (panicking) Oh no! Mortimer is allergic to llama spit!
DR. FUMBLE (alarmed) Quick, Nurse Nutty! Get the antihistamines!
[NURSE NUTTY rushes to administer the antihistamines, but it's too late. MR. MORTIMER dies from the allergic reaction, as the hospital staff looks on in devastation.]
DR. FUMBLE (tearfully) Mortimer... we lost you to the wild side.
NURSE NUTTY (sadly) He was one with the animals, even in the end.
[The camera pans out as the hospital staff gather in the room, mourning MR. MORTIMER's death, while "Born to Be Wild" by Steppenwolf plays softly in the background.]
FADE OUT.