Hysterical Heights Hospital Episode 3: "The Banana Split Slip-Up"
INT. HYSTERICAL HEIGHTS MEDICAL CENTER - DAY
[Theme music plays, accompanied by a montage of various hospital scenes featuring the hospital staff in silly situations, all ending with the same patient, MR. MORTIMER, dying in a new, absurd way each time.]
EPISODE 3: "The Banana Split Slip-Up"
[DR. FUMBLE enters MR. MORTIMER's hospital room, slipping on a banana peel as he crosses the threshold. MR. MORTIMER lies in bed, covered in banana peels and ice cream.]
DR. FUMBLE
(crashing into the room)
Mortimer! Here we are again! What's the scoop this time?
MR. MORTIMER
(sighing)
Doc, I took up a job at the ice cream parlor, but I slipped on a banana peel and landed in a mountain of banana splits!
NURSE NUTTY enters the room, holding a giant spoon and wearing a chef's hat.
NURSE NUTTY
(beaming)
Dr. Fumble, we have to treat Mortimer before he develops a case of Frosty Freeze Fever!
DR. FUMBLE
(scratching his head)
But how do we melt all this ice cream?
NURSE NUTTY
(wielding the giant spoon)
I know! We'll use this industrial-strength spoon to scoop it all away!
[NURSE NUTTY begins scooping ice cream and banana peels off of MR. MORTIMER, while DR. FUMBLE helps by clumsily tossing the remains into a trash bin.]
MR. MORTIMER
(shivering)
Brrr! I've never been so cold in my life!
DR. FUMBLE
(concerned)
Mortimer, your body temperature is dropping! We need to warm you up before it's too late!
NURSE NUTTY
(looking around)
Wait! I've got just the thing!
[NURSE NUTTY grabs a nearby heating pad and wraps it around MR. MORTIMER, who sighs in relief.]
MR. MORTIMER
(slightly warmer)
Ah, that's better. Thanks, doc.
[Just as MR. MORTIMER begins to warm up, an air vent above him malfunctions, blasting him with freezing cold air. His body starts to freeze solid.]
NURSE NUTTY
(horrified)
Oh no! Mortimer is turning into an ice sculpture!
DR. FUMBLE
(panicking)
We need to act fast! Nurse Nutty, get the hairdryers!
[NURSE NUTTY and DR. FUMBLE frantically use hairdryers to try and thaw MR. MORTIMER, but it's too late. He's now a frozen statue, with a peaceful smile on his face.]
DR. FUMBLE
(tearfully)
Mortimer... we failed you once again.
NURSE NUTTY
(sadly)
At least he's eternally preserved in his favorite dessert.
[The camera pans out as the hospital staff gather in the room, mourning MR. MORTIMER's death, while "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice plays softly in the background.]
FADE OUT.