Hysterical Heights Hospital Episode 12: "The Great Inflata-Mortimer"
INT. HYSTERICAL HEIGHTS MEDICAL CENTER - DAY
[Theme music plays, accompanied by a montage of various hospital scenes featuring the hospital staff in silly situations, all ending with the same patient, MR. MORTIMER, dying in a new, absurd way each time.]
EPISODE 12: "The Great Inflata-Mortimer"
[DR. FUMBLE rushes into MR. MORTIMER's hospital room. MR. MORTIMER lies in bed, incredibly bloated and looking like a human balloon.]
DR. FUMBLE
(stumbling over a bedpan)
Mortimer! You're back? What on Earth has happened to you this time?
MR. MORTIMER
(struggling to speak)
Doc, I just can't...stop...inflating!
NURSE NUTTY enters the room, carrying a tray of medical instruments that she accidentally drops, causing them to scatter across the floor.
NURSE NUTTY
(flustered)
Oh my! Mr. Mortimer, you've become so...round!
DR. FUMBLE
(scratching his head)
This is a case of Extreme Balloonitis! Nurse Nutty, we must find the cause before Mortimer floats away!
NURSE NUTTY
(grinning)
Well, he did say he always wanted to be lighter on his feet!
[As they search for the cause, DR. FUMBLE and NURSE NUTTY comically stumble over each other, accidentally knocking over medical equipment and causing chaos in the room.]
DR. FUMBLE
(finding a partially eaten cake)
Aha! This must be it! Mortimer, have you been eating this "Inflata-Cake"?
MR. MORTIMER
(embarrassed)
Well, I...uh...wanted to try something new...
DR. FUMBLE
(determined)
Nurse Nutty, we must deflate him immediately! Fetch me a needle!
[NURSE NUTTY hands DR. FUMBLE a needle, which he uses to carefully poke MR. MORTIMER. Instead of deflating, MR. MORTIMER begins to float around the room like a helium balloon.]
NURSE NUTTY
(giggling)
Look, Dr. Fumble! He's flying!
DR. FUMBLE
(panicking)
No, no, no! This wasn't supposed to happen! We need to get him down before he floats away!
[DR. FUMBLE and NURSE NUTTY attempt to catch MR. MORTIMER as he floats around the room, bouncing off the walls and ceiling. They finally manage to grab him, and he suddenly deflates, landing back on his hospital bed with a thud.]
MR. MORTIMER
(sighing)
I'm...I'm back to normal?
DR. FUMBLE
(smiling)
Yes, Mortimer. You're no longer full of hot air.
[Just as they celebrate their victory, a massive helium tank that was hidden behind a curtain falls and crushes MR. MORTIMER.]
NURSE NUTTY
(tearfully)
Oh, Mortimer... You were just getting the hang of gravity.
DR. FUMBLE (sadly) Poor Mortimer... He was truly lighter than air.
[The camera pans out as the hospital staff gather in the room, mourning MR. MORTIMER's death, while "99 Luftballons" by Nena plays softly in the background.]
FADE OUT.