Hysterical Heights Hospital Episode 4: "The Haunting Hot Sauce Horror"
INT. HYSTERICAL HEIGHTS MEDICAL CENTER - DAY
[Theme music plays, accompanied by a montage of various hospital scenes featuring the hospital staff in silly situations, all ending with the same patient, MR. MORTIMER, dying in a new, absurd way each time.]
EPISODE 5: "The Haunting Hot Sauce Horror"
[DR. FUMBLE enters MR. MORTIMER's hospital room, accidentally bumping into a cart full of hot sauce bottles. MR. MORTIMER lies in bed, sweating profusely and bright red.]
DR. FUMBLE
(crashing into the room)
Mortimer! You're back! What's burning you up this time?
MR. MORTIMER
(gasping)
Doc, I tried to break the world record for eating the hottest chili peppers... But now I feel like I'm on fire!
NURSE NUTTY enters the room wearing a firefighter's helmet and carrying a fire extinguisher.
NURSE NUTTY
(enthusiastically)
Dr. Fumble, we need to cool Mortimer down before he spontaneously combusts from the heat!
DR. FUMBLE
(worried)
You're right, Nurse Nutty! But how do we extinguish this fiery sensation?
NURSE NUTTY
(holding the fire extinguisher)
I've got it! We'll use this fire extinguisher filled with milk to put out the fire in his belly!
[NURSE NUTTY sprays MR. MORTIMER with the milk-filled fire extinguisher, dousing him in a creamy white shower. MR. MORTIMER's color starts to return to normal, and he appears to be cooling down.]
MR. MORTIMER
(relieved)
Ah, that's so much better. Thanks, doc.
[Just as MR. MORTIMER begins to recover, the fire alarm in the hospital goes off, causing sprinklers to activate and drench everyone in the room. The water, however, seems to be infused with hot sauce from the spilled bottles, reigniting MR. MORTIMER's fiery condition.]
NURSE NUTTY
(alarmed)
Oh no! The hot sauce-infused water is making Mortimer's condition even worse!
DR. FUMBLE
(panicking)
We need something to counteract the heat! Nurse Nutty, get the ice cream from last week's episode!
[NURSE NUTTY rushes to grab the ice cream and starts feeding it to MR. MORTIMER. His temperature begins to drop, but suddenly, he has an allergic reaction to an unknown ingredient in the ice cream.]
MR. MORTIMER
(gasping)
Doc... I can't... breathe...
[MR. MORTIMER dies as the hospital staff look on, devastated.]
DR. FUMBLE
(tearfully)
Mortimer... We failed you once more.
NURSE NUTTY
(sadly)
At least he left this world with a spicy kick.
[The camera pans out as the hospital staff gather in the room, mourning MR. MORTIMER's death, while "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash plays softly in the background.]
FADE OUT.